Alison at Wicked Grounds, December 09

I met Alison at a Women’s BDSM event in San Francisco. She was traveling through San Francisco on her way from South Florida to Portland. She was just exploring this trans-mecca before she met up with her girlfriend.
She said she was bigendered, I did not know what that meant to her. I did not "recognize" her masculinity. Later when I saw her without clothes, my whole body reacted to her as female. She has the hips, thighs and ass of a goddess. Her body screamed fertility, and my head became clouded with endorphins and adrenaline.
Neither of us wanted to deal with the negotiation of gender-variant sex, so I suggested a consciousness raising exercise. She lay down naked on my bed, closed her eyes and agreed to only receive. She saved her words for the end of the exercise.
I proceeded to touch and gently caress her every surface of her body while speaking out my adoration. I worshiped her goddess hips and thighs and spoke love for them in a way that no one else ever had. I showed my love for her body so that she that she might drink from it and be nourished. "We should form a religion and worship your unbelievably sexy Ass." She laughed to herself.
I was in my own heaven. Caressing her whole curvy form with my eyes and skin while showering her with appreciation and dry kisses, filled me both with a full body desire as well as its satiation. After a quarter hour, my body had been cleansed by a rush of endorphins, which left me in a dreamy, almost post-coital state that is the result of good non-PIV (Penis In Vagina) sex.
Lying next to me Alice said "That was sooo nice, no one has really appreciated my body like that," but she also told me how conflicted she felt when her hips and ass betrayed her and marked her as Female Born. "You will see tomorrow, when I put my binder on, I can be really masculine."
I was still under the spell of her absurdly, estrogenized body. It seemed to testify against her, undercutting her very words. I felt a little guilty that my image of her had become so feminine, but I looked forward to seeing the Alison that had promised to manifest when she bound her tits with an Ace Bandage.

Chubchaser | Sex- and Fat-Positive Fashion | 9th December, 2009

Dec 9 2009
Last spring I came out on my blog. Not as gender variant, I had done that months earlier. I came out as a Chubchaser. It was utterly ironic that I felt more social support adopting the ‘Transgender’ category than I did in publicly stating that I prefer chubby girls. Hegemonic american culture has a really strange, subtle, taboo on Sexual Desire for fat girls. It is subtle because it does not incite phobic reactions but involuntary laughter and social discomfort. It is kind of like the taboos about bisexuality among dykes.
Preferring chubby girls is incompatible with ’successful masculinity.’ Somehow the discursive space I grew up in, found it very important to declare Fat Bodies undesirable and to shun them. This social logic of fat = undesirable is maintained by declaring this form of desire a fetish rather than a legitimate desire. If I desire the undesirable I lose the coveted title of ‘Normal.’

The Photo
This photo was taken at Burnal Equinox 2009, a Burning Man Event in San Francisco.
Burning Man is a body positive event that lets us all play with fashion. All the rules are gone. It is a straight queer space. Like this girl, I took the opportunity to explore self-objectification and fashion. At Burning Man and other sex positive events we learn that truly every body is sexy when shown with confidence. Social Domination is exercised through this Nietzschean ‘bad conscience’, the shame we feel about our bodies, sexualities and genders. The body shame we feel as Fatgirls or for our Male Femininity is where power directly intervenes in our minds, bodies and lives. All of our bodies are a site of political struggle. (Straight) Queer spaces support this kind of micropolitics which is voiced as positive action and expression.

more Body Positive Art…

Sex Positive, Fat Positive, Gender Subversive Fashion, originally uploaded by .

Dec 9 2009
I shot this photo set at the November 2009 Stay Gold Queer dance club in SF. This culture creates a space for fashion which can be remarkably body-positive. In this space we are free to drop the fat shame, the gender shame and the ubiquitous sex negativity.
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If you are reading my posts then you know that I am psyched about Fat Activism as a body positive, sex positive politics. I think that Dyke Culture gets the sex positive aspect. This fashion is not a defensive assimilationist Fat Acceptance statement. It is not a "but I am OK too," It is "Adore my fabulous sexiness."
This point is important because much of the Fat Feminism I see on the Internet is still has a eighties stile Sex Negative attitutude which rejects Fat Girls as the Object of Desire. Femmeboys and Fat Girls share a weapon our sexiness. The puritanical condemnation of sexual objectification of Fat Girls helps to sustain the Body Negative idea that fat is never sexy.

Fat Fashion Activism | Fat Burlesque | Femme Follies, originally uploaded by .

Dec 8 2009
I took this shot at the Femme Follies which was put on by Amelia Mae Paradise one of San Francisco’s proud Bearded Ladies. They make a very cute couple. The Femme’s Fat Fashion Activism is truly stunning though.
She is obviously gorgeous and embraces her body. If you are a fashion outsider you might not realize quite how bold this fashion statement is. It takes confidence to wear these bright colors with a form fitting dress. When is the last time you went out with lipsstick that intense? She is rejecting the body shame which is expected of fat girls and inviting us to see her beauty and sexiness.
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In my last post I talked about how Femmeboys can practice fashion activism by mastering fashion technologies. This outfit demonstrates the effect that fat girls can achieve by mastering feminine markers and being bold.
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Since I went to the Flabulous Burlesque show a couple of weeks ago my brain has been awash with Body Positivism. I am a gender non-conforming FemmeBoy and do not identify with the Transgender Narrative, especially its body negative incarnations. I am simply a feminine male, a part of the diversity of biology and culture. My gender journey has been one of overcoming the shame I always felt for my innate femininity. My activism has always been through fashion, expressing my singularity by fabricating and proudly wearing Male Femme fashion.
Body shame and self loathing are the discursive structures which supress differently sized and genderered bodies. By fashioning ourselves as objects of desire and shoving our sexiness in the face of society we are performing a very serious form of political activism. We are engaging in Foucault’s bio-politics.

For Body Positive are and Video see: Emansipashun

Male Femme Gender: Playing with girly spandex jeans and bare midriff | November 2009.

The jeans are from Brazil. they are 4% spandex and they cost $20 at a Latina clothing outlet. It took me months too figure out but a well fitting waist is essential with low rise jeans like these. With my boy ass, I need really tight and stretchy jeans otherwise they will not stay up. Most girl jeans are made like an ice-cream cone, super skinny legs and a lot of room for the ass. That will not stay up without ruining the look with a belt.
I call this a glam look, It is super body positive, and feminine without triggering transphobia.
The arm warmers are nice and warm. They were $5 at H&M

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Dec 04, 2009
I am sitting in The Tea Room. It is the most San Francisco-like spot in Petaluma. You would never know you were in the Egg Basket of The World. Petaluma has a proud place in the history of industrial agriculture.
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But anyway… Take a look at my outfit photos. I want to discuss some hard fought lessons I had to learn in order to clothe my body as I wish. To take control of my body and how you interact with me.

As my imaginary audience you are a straight, feminine male who identifies more with women than men. Your body language and speech are feminine. People around you are always trying to push you into the identity category ‘gay man’ because your straight male femininity makes them uncomfortable.
Lately it has become harder and harder to put up the act of straight masculine identity. You are not ‘Straight Man’, that much is clear. But what are you? Are you Transgender? Are you a women? You might’ve heard genderqueer? But what is that anyway? Since you are not a hip young lesbian your chances of running into a genderqueer is about 0.00001%. You, my boy, are royally fucked! You are on your own. You are taking up anchor. The sirens of the different identity categories are singing to you.
So anyway here is some advice I wish I had gotten.
# Congratulations! You are not a man, but this does not make you a woman. You have been socialized as a man and it is a long process to learn the social roles of woman, and to find women who will let you practice.
# There are an infinite number of socio-cultural roles. A gender is just a role which is constrained to a single sex.
# Decouple your sex (male/female) from your social gender (man/woman, masculine/feminine). Explore unisex genders and feminine genders.
# Stop wearing ‘Straight Man’ gang colors. Cast off the browns and blacks.
# Learn how to deploy Feminine Markers . You need to become an expert at fashion. You need to learn to upset gender expectations to the exact degree you wish.

Sexy Body Without Hormones

Nov 22, 2009

I have been looking for a pair of women’s stretch jeans everywhere. Nothing fit until I tried the Latin stores in the mission. Everything is stretchy enough to fit any body.

This is my look. I am playing with feminine silhouettes rather than bright colors. I am emulating a chic but sexy feminine look. It has a strong political message. “I have a sexy feminine body without hormones. Deal with it!”

This week on Jasperswardrobe:

Homosocial Bonding & Sorority Girl Femininity In A Karaoke Bar
I combine Photos and Audio. I thrive on the homosocialty among women. It is a source of support and comfort in my life. Ironically I had to disidentity as ‘Man’ before I could experience the comfort of feminine social space.

Feminine Markers wiki page
I document my experience integrating women’s fashion into my wardrobe

Naked, Fat, Transvestite, Crippled Bodies

I played with two girlfriends and a camera. We appropriated a Renaissance nude by Titian and mutated it into our time and our Fat, Transvestite and Disabled bodies.

The photos are interesting, but more interesting is the girly slumberparty that produced it. We were just three girls sitting around in our underwear and playing with our digital images.

I got these esprit high heels for 4 bucks at Thrift Town in SF. I got the shirt for $6. It is kind glam blood red satin with black embroidery. On a female body it might look matronly. On my body it evokes the Elizabethan era. The thrifted pink snood adds to the antiquity. he heels are amazing. I have never worn them with leggings. They force you to hold your body erect.

This shot was taken outside the Brand new Gay Hipster bar Blackbird. The Men inside were flirty but respectful. A couple of guys said I was beautiful and wanted their picture with me. Another pair said I reminded them of Shakespeare and the Tempest. i volunteered myself to be Caliban.

Walking in high heels is like an acid trip. They discipline the body to make you walk, stand and dance in a Femme way. I demonstrate in my Emansipashun Video